Grief is often unknown terrain for many, that seems to come with all sorts of sorrows. I don’t know about you, but when I think of grief, the first thing that used to come to my mind, was that of a loved one who had passed away. Usually I don’t allow my mind to wander to the other places that grief can also live within us but there are many of them.

So, then what IS grief, exactly? We know it’s how we feel or how we are supposed to feel; the internal part of loss. We know it takes a while to pass and that it doesn’t just end on a certain day, or after an exact measurement of time despite rumors of one year being the end of it. We know now that how long it takes to grieve is different for every single person just like a fingerprint is unique to each individual and each relationship.

Grief Permission

One of the most beautiful things I ever head about was giving myself permission to fries was this statement:

The pain of loss is so intense, so heartbreaking. We loved that person so much who has now moved on, transitioning to the other side of this life. It’s okay to grieve that loss and feel all the deep, loving, or complicated, connection with them. And, it’s okay to grieve your loss.

Feeling and working through those feelings shows how deeply we loved them. Our grief reflects the connection that has been lost, even if we believe it is only temporary in this life. The belief of life after this one, does not exempt us from needing to process the emotions of our loss in this life.

Grieving My Loved Ones

When my family passed away at a young age, we had time to prepare. We knew it was coming. This knowledge didn’t make it any less difficult because knowing she was in pain in her last days was emotionally excruciating for us. It also did not make the aftermath of wrapping up her affairs any less work. It did not wipe the slate clean of unresolved issues and it did not stop us from missing her.

I remember I was in my last month of school for my clinical training and heading into my finals. I couldn’t stay awake in class, I was exhausted emotionally, which affected me physically, and I was not living close by her so, the expenses of traveling back and forth eventually became more than I could financially afford on my own.

I was so grateful I was still in school when my loved one was in her last days on this earth because I was able to receive the clinical bodywork I needed to keep moving forward in life. My father, aunt, brother, and friends in the community were able to be there with her and help try to make her transition more comfortable.

The teachers, my classmates all knew what was going in. They took every opportunity to help keep me as balanced as possible during those last days too so each weekend that my siblings and I traveled back to be with her that I could be there and help bring balance to my family.

My classmates used acupressure and massage techniques and holds to help me release my emotions and give me hope to continue living, myself. I’m eternally grateful for the people who reached out and kindly offered us plane tickets so we could try and be there when she departed this life.

Grief’s Lessons

This experience and many others helped me to begin to understand the stages of grief and be sensitive to those who are going through losses of all kinds. I’m currently working with people who are suffering with the loss of their health, loss of a child, a spouse, loss of their happiness, loss of a sense of their safety. What are you grieving yourself, right now? Is someone you know grieving? The chances are mighty high these days that you do.

Grief Affects the Body

Grief can affect the lungs because this emotion lives in, is housed and resides in the organ of the lungs. When society tells us it’s not acceptable to be grieving, grief can quickly turn to anger. In the United States, anger seems to be a culturally acceptable emotion but not grief and so, the liver takes over.

The liver is where anger lives according to Traditional Chinese Medicine. Either way though, that stuff has got to move somewhere trying to get out! There are ways and tools to help balance the overwhelm of emotion and help the body direct it in a safe way for processing and releasing.

Grief Offer

If you are experiencing grief and would like to make an appointment with us, schedule an intake session and tell us what’s going on and we will help you know what modalities or type of session(s) might be most beneficial for you.

NOTE: science and psychologists have discovered children’s brains are not capable of even beginning to comprehend the meaning of death until their brain develops more, right around the age of eight years old. Any deaths that they knew of or experienced around them before that age will not begin to make sense or process until them. Please be gentle with them because they will still grieve.

Call us if you would like to explore anything we can do to help you during this difficult transition of life. If we are not able to help you directly with your unique situation we will be upfront with you and try to offer you any additional resources out there for you to explore as well.

Grief Resources

In my search for some really good resources I put together a really amazing list of helpful information for you because, not only have I experienced loss in my life, a lot, but I know quite a few people especially recently who have experienced shocking, unexpected events that could bring anyone to their knees. We need to be aware of how to help these people in our lives and also how to help ourselves too.

• Experts and Lecturers on Death and Grieving.
• Stages of Grief
• Best and Worst Things to Say to Someone Grieving
• Suicide and Grief
• Sexual Harassment and Grief
• Grief and the Holidays
• Breakups and Divorce
• Tragedies and Children
• When a Parent Dies

Also my book “Member Heal Thyself” by R. Shelton is available on our site and anywhere books are sold with many resources you can begin doing at home to help your body be in a more balanced state to help heal itself, naturally. These tips helped me so much get through the loss of twelve people in a two year period when I wondered if God was trying to kill me with grief.

Other ideas for those grieving is to gift them a gift card for a phone session or in office visit so they can start feeling relief from feeling stuck in grief. Sometimes we don’t know what to do for someone but a gift card, some grief groceries dropped off at their door of easy things to eat can be a real blessing to someone grieving.

Please share this article with someone who is grieving or caring for someone who is if you found this helpful.

Remember to be extra gentle with yourself and those around you. Hurt people, hurt people, and are easily hurt by people.

We often don’t mean to be mean when we’re in pain but end up hurting those we love the most. During a time of grieving, if someone is struggling and lashes out verbally, remember, they probably need extra patience, love, and understanding at that moment and a heaping helping of grace. A kind word, even the offer of a hug can go a long way.